WHERE SINGLES MEET

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Apps for online dating? Apps for senior (make that “old folks”) dating

?!  

Well, it’s 2017. We “oldies but goodies” must find our way through a new paradigm of “boy meets girl.” Actually, of “dotter and totter.” Which may be apropos in my surroundings – an Assisted Living Facility.

Move aside eHarmony! Out-of-the-way Match! Butt out   Our Time ! Hello A L F ! The match maker of Long Term Care.

* *  *

Charles and Charlaine are a couple.  Once upon a time, they were just individuals residing in my ALF, each going his and her separate ways.  They came together in the Dining Room – but then, everyone did – all forty+ of us. Charles and Charlaine sat at separate tables; in fact, I once sat with Charles at an all male table.  He and I had commonalties.  We both have PhD degrees. We both had been university professors, and, for a short time, we practiced at the same university. We both love the out-of-doors. Charles had lived in the same community as I before becoming a resident of the ALF.

Charlaine, on the other hand, came from out-of-state to live in our ALF.  She and Charles lacked the common experiences he and I did. They also came from different parts of the country. She was raised and lived on a farm in the mid-West, dealing with cattle and snow, while watching her children leave the nest. A son landed in our town, and brought his mother here – where Charles happened to be. They ended up sitting next to each other at the end of a seven person table.

Early on, they adhered to the protocol of manners in the Dining Room, greeting one another, being friendly, making small talk, passing along the salt and pepper, things like that.

Charles was tall. Solidly built. He stood straight, and carried himself with surety and confidence. Charlaine was also tall, but thin, with a tiny -“kindly-old-lady”-wrinkled-soft-oval-face. Her eyes were doe-like, uncertain. She also had the shakes, her hands trembled, her tiny head quivered.

As time went on, their conversations lasted longer, when they spoke,they leaned toward each other Charlaine helped Charles when is hearing (he wore double hearing-aids) interfered with his understanding questions of menu choices.

Eventually, they touched. Held hands. Now, they walk together hand-in-hand, talking as they make their way up and down the hallway, visiting each other’s rooms; walk together out-of-doors. They sit together on the sofa in the entry.  

Alas, the years are taking their toll. The strength that Charles brought to the relationship is waning. His hearing loss is more pronounced. His shoulders droop. His voice has become a whisper. He forgets where he is. Dementia is creeping in.

Charlaine is now the force that binds them. But, she, too, slowly declines into feebleness. But she retains her cognition, her sense of humor.  Theirs is a tenuous togetherness.

But they hold firmly to one another in this relationship for those of us in our eighties and nineties, found only in the dating service of Long Term Care.

Dick Weinman is an AARP Volunteer Blogger and an Assisted Living Guru