'Salute to Caregivers' offers advice, resources

Understand your resources. Seek help. Keep a budget. Look at the realities early on. Listen to a lot of music.

A panel of caregiving experts at AARP Michigan's "A Salute to Caregivers" event on Nov. 6 in Southfield offered these and other pieces of advice.

The panel was moderated by AARP Senior Vice President Edna Kane-Williams and included Paul Bridgewater, President and CEO of Detroit Area Agency on Aging; Dr. Eric Ayers, a physician from Detroit Medical Center; Dr. Marilyn French, President and CEO of Healthy, Wealthy and Wise Change Agents; Karen Love, Senior Care Ministry Triumph Church; and Gail Perry-Mason, Senior Director of Investments, Oppenheimer & Co.

Kane-Williams shared details of her own caregiving experience and impressed on the audience of 200 that "it's OK to feel frustrated sometimes. It can be overwhelming.

"I felt trapped. And I felt guilty for feeling trapped."

Perry-Mason said it helped her and her mother to make the caregiving experience "a celebration of her healing journey."

She also noted that caregiving can be expensive, and advised Michigan's 2 million caregivers to "always seek financial help but keep a budget together. Try to pay yourself."

Ayres remarked that the long-term care system "is not always friendly. Understand the resources out there -- home health care and hospice care."

Hubbard said many caregivers approach a long-term care situation in a state of denial. "Begin to look at the realities early on," she advised.

Love, who represented the faith community, commented about caregiving resources: "The people in this room are very educated, but how do we reach people who aren't educated? It starts in the church."

Love also talked about the importance of music in the caregiving experience.

"Listen to a lot of music. It can be healing," she said.

Bridgewater recommended that caregivers get an external perspective.

"The caregiver can be too close to the situation. Sometimes an outsider can give you a better perspective on what's needed."

Ayres emphasized the importance of listening carefully to the person receiving the care... and getting over uncomfortable or awkward situations.

"My mom told me, 'treat me like you would anyone else you would be providing care for. If I need to be changed, change me. Let's be uncomfortable together."