Risks and Rewards in the COVID-19 Era

Guest blogger Dorothy Brothers, 86, is a resident of Baltimore, Md.

Life is filled with risks, like every time I get in my car to drive. Most of the big decisions—where to go to college, what career to pursue, who to marry, how many children—all those big decisions come with risks. But really, I have not faced life-threatening risks (unless you count getting into my car).

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Now, however, just going out my door can lead to a life-threatening risk. COVID-19 lurks out there. How much am I willing to risk to live something near to a normal life? The word “normal” seems to have much more meaning than we used to give it. Do we really want what our old normal life was, or do we want a “new normal?” Will it be an even worse normal? Or, will a new normal be a better normal? How much am I willing to risk to get a new, better normal?

Why do I stay at home now? I only go out for walks or to share a meal outdoors with family or friends, keeping the required two arms’ lengths away. Keeping others at arm’s length used to be a desire for personal space. Now, it is a risk to cross that distance.

I stay in because I’m 86 years old. COVID-19 statistics say the greatest risk for severe illness, including possible death, is among those aged 85 or older. I stay home because having a healthy life is important to me. I stay home because I don’t want my children to have to deal with a parent who is sick or in the hospital. Also, I care about the health workers. I don’t want to put others at risk because I wasn’t careful.

I’m relatively healthy for my age so it’s easy to downplay my risk. But I do take medication for high blood pressure and I have a heart condition called Tachycardia. It’s treatable but knowing that COVID-19 can have lasting negative impacts on the heart, there is reason to recognize the risk.

Knowing all this, how much am I willing to risk and why? Since I want to protect myself and others, I choose to follow what the health care professionals suggest. For me, at my age, they say the safest thing is virtual contacts only. For a bit more risk, they suggest small groups, outdoors with 6 feet distancing, using masks, and being with people from the local area.

This is mostly manageable for me. I try to follow all the rules that are suggested: masks, hand washing, sanitizing. These are so easy, it’s hard to understand their politicization, especially the wearing of masks. The idea that it infringes on the rights of non-mask wearers makes little sense. Are their rights to be mask less more important than the rights of others for safety?

Are there things so important that I would take greater risks? Yes, family emergencies would take precedence for me. A friend with a compromised immune system recently posed the question of whether she would march for rights: democracy in danger, racial justice including Black Lives Matter, women’s rights. Her answer was yes, there are things she would put her life on the line for.  

Would I? I think my bottom line answer is yes. I would, however, want to look at all the alternatives. Is there another way of being supportive? Because I must remember that when I’m putting my life on the line for things I believe in, I could be putting other people’s lives on the line, including health workers. Do I have that right? At what point is the issue so pressing, with no good alternatives available, that I can risk any lives? The decision is a personal one, depending on the situation. I will leave the answer until I study each situation.

To make those kinds of determinations, I need to be clear about what values are important to me. Can I live a productive life inside my doors? Can I develop a life that has enough quality to be worth safety? Can I maintain relationships that are meaningful? While there are no advantages to a pandemic, can I find the advantages of a time of being at home rather than concentrating on the many real difficulties?

iStock/Jirapong Manustrong<br>

I always enjoy talking with my children and friends, but I have had some of the best, most meaningful discussion during this time. I have been reminded again of how my neighbors are willing to help me any time. I have had time to write more.  I find writing helpful in keeping me relatively sane in a time of insanity.

Yes, no question that even being forced to stay in has advantages as well as its many disadvantages. The trick is (and very tricky it is at a time like this), the trick is to understand and find ways to deal with the disadvantages and to recognize and build on the advantages.

I will try to educate myself and learn from this unique time in history. I will try to choose my risks. I will try to be sure when I venture outside that it is worth the risk. I will take the precautions for myself and for others to minimize the risks.

I will try to see the beauty of the world around me and the kindness of the people in my life. To paraphrase a well-known saying, I will try to be brave enough to take the risks I can not avoid and wise enough to avoid the risks that I can.

iStock/Picturesque Japan