Grief and Growth: Caring for Your Whole Self

Heartbreak and loss come in many forms. It may be the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a major life transition, or a moment when life simply did not unfold as expected. Whatever the cause, grief is a deeply human experience that affects more than our emotions. It reaches into our physical health, our mental clarity, and our sense of meaning.

As a family nurse practitioner, I have seen how surprising the physical effects of emotional pain can be. Grief is not something that affects only the heart. The body responds to emotional stress with hormonal, neurological, and inflammatory changes that can influence overall health, especially for adults age 55 and older.

How Grief Affects the Body

When the brain interprets emotional pain, it activates the stress response system. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline increase. This response is normal in short bursts, but prolonged elevation during grief can have consequences.

Chronic stress related to heartbreak may:

• Raise blood pressure and increase the risk of hypertension
• Disrupt blood sugar regulation, which can worsen diabetes or increase the likelihood of developing it
• Increase inflammation that contributes to arthritis and other chronic conditions
• Weaken the immune system
• Disturb sleep patterns, which affect energy, mood, and healing

Some individuals may even experience stress-induced cardiomyopathy. This is sometimes referred to as broken heart syndrome. It is a temporary weakening of the heart muscle brought on by intense emotional distress and can mimic the symptoms of a heart attack. Any concerning symptoms should prompt medical attention.

How Grief Affects the Mind

Grief often affects cognitive function in ways people do not expect. Many describe feeling foggy or unable to think clearly. These changes occur because the brain is working to process emotional pain and redirect mental energy.

Common mental effects include:

• Feeling scattered or overwhelmed
• Difficulty making decisions
• Trouble concentrating
• Forgetfulness or slowed thinking

These changes do not mean that you are not coping well. They are a sign that your mind is managing a significant emotional load.

How Grief Affects the Spirit

The spirit represents your sense of identity, purpose, and connection. During grief, you may feel disconnected from activities or relationships that once brought joy. You may feel uncertain about your direction or feel a sense of emptiness that is hard to name.

For older adults, grief can carry additional layers such as cumulative losses, changes in independence, or shifts in social circles. Healing the spirit involves reconnecting with meaning, belonging, and hope.

Practical Steps to Support Healing

Healing involves tending to the mind, body, and spirit together. Small, intentional actions can make a meaningful difference.

Care for Your Body
• Take gentle walks or practice light stretching
• Eat balanced meals that support energy and blood sugar
• Maintain consistent sleep routines

Care for Your Mind
• Journal to release thoughts and reduce mental strain
• Try breathing exercises or mindfulness practices
• Seek counseling or a support group when you need additional help

Care for Your Spirit
• Create small rituals that offer comfort, such as lighting a candle or enjoying quiet time
• Stay connected with supportive people or communities
• Engage in activities that help you feel stable, hopeful, or purposeful

It is also important to stay connected with your healthcare provider. Grief can influence chronic conditions, medications, and overall well-being. Your provider can help guide you through the physical and emotional changes you may be experiencing.

Finding Strength in Your Next Chapter

Healing from heartbreak does not mean forgetting your loss. It means learning to move forward in a way that honors what you have experienced while strengthening your ability to live fully. Grief changes us, but it can also deepen our empathy, strengthen our resilience, and help us rediscover what matters most.

No one is meant to heal alone. When you care for your mind, body, and spirit together, and reach out for support when needed, you give yourself the best chance to regain balance and hope. Healing is possible at every age and stage of life. Your next chapter can be filled with meaning, connection, and renewed strength.

***The information shared in this article is provided for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified healthcare provider. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, please call 911. Always consult your healthcare provider for any medical concerns, and do not delay seeking professional advice based on the content found on this website. AARP is not responsible for the consequences of any decisions or actions taken in reliance upon or as a result of the information provided.***

ABOUT NURSE ALICE BENJAMIN

With over 25 years of healthcare experience, “Nurse Alice” Benjamin, MSN, ACNS-BC, FNP-C is a nationally board-certified family nurse practitioner and clinical nurse specialist. Her expertise spans from critical care and emergency medicine to cardiology and community health.

In addition to her clinical work, Nurse Alice is a respected educator, media health contributor, and public speaker who has collaborated with organizations such as the American Heart Association, AARP, and NBC News.
She’s the host of the “Ask Nurse Alice” podcast, an AARP ambassador, and a passionate advocate for making healthcare clear, compassionate, and empowering for everyone.