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Mimi’s Caregiving Commandment Number Nine: Do Your Homework

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Mimi Pockross (Photo courtesy Keith Pockross)



Each time that a crisis occurred when I was caring for my elderly parents, I took a deep breath and tried to focus on finding a temporary solution to the prevailing problem. It would be a time to investigate alternatives and options for the issue I was facing. That always required doing some research.

One of the best examples of doing my homework centered on the question of whether or not either of my parents was a candidate for hospice.

Initially a nurse assistant who worked in Mom’s dementia unit introduced me to the concept of hospice. She was caring for another resident who had been in hospice for a long period of time.

I briefly consulted the Internet and my eldercare library and learned that the program, which, until I began the research, I understood to only apply to people with terminal diseases, had another application as well. Hospice could also be administered to patients whose conditions were no longer expected to improve. It required the approval of a physician and could be performed in any type of residence including an independent facility, a patient’s home or in a senior residence where both of my parents were living. I learned that some hospice patients actually improved, came out of the program and returned to leading normal lives.

Several months passed before Mom’s behavior became increasingly erratic. I approached Mom and Dad’s geriatrician for advice and brought up the concept of hospice as a possibility.

It turned out that he was starting a new hospice wing at the senior facility where Mom and Dad were living. The geriatrician, a professor at the University of Denver gave me all sorts of reading material. He wanted to be sure that I was convinced that this was the direction I wished to take first for my mother and then for my dad. Ironically they both entered hospice within one week of each other.

It was through my readings and with the assistance of my geriatrician’s knowledge that I opted to choose hospice. I was comfortable with my decision. Some of that comfort I believe came about because I first did the homework.

Mimi Pockross Biography
Mimi Pockross has been a freelance writer for more than thirty-five years. She is a graduate of the University of Illinois and Northwestern University. She has published many articles on the arts, education and family and is the author of two books. Her latest book is The Takeover: An Unexpected Caregiver’s Story in which she writes about becoming the primary caregiver for her elderly parents. The mother of two sons and the grandmother of two boys, Mimi lives in Denver and Vail, Colorado with her husband of forty-nine years. She is also the author of Shopping for a Living: A Memoir on Merging Marriage, Motherhood and Merchandising.

The content of this article and the opinions expressed are solely those of Mimi Pockross and do not necessarily reflect those of AARP or any of its affiliates.

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