Mimi’s Caregiving Commandment Number Two Take Care of Yourself

A few years ago when I was taking care of my 90 year-old mom and my 95 year-old dad, articles and books were just beginning to be written about the importance of taking care of yourself if you were the primary caregiver.  At that point I was so wrapped up in the day-to-day demands of supervising Mom and Dad that I couldn’t really read much.  It amazes me that I did attempt to take care of myself instinctively without realizing the concept of what the experts were trying to convey.  I tried to stay true to my regular exercise schedule as much as possible; I spent time with my grandchildren who always made me smile; and occasionally I even went out for a quiet dinner with just my husband.  My favorite “me” memory took place around the time of Mother’s Day soon after I had moved Mom, age 90 and Dad, age 95 from Chicago to Denver where I live.  I had gone to the grocery store to buy some dinner that I could make quickly (probably a rotisserie chicken) and there at the entrance to the store was a beautiful display of orange star plants all lined up in a row just in time for Mothers’ Day.  Normally I would have admired the plants and then passed up purchasing one because they were too expensive.  But on this day, relieved that Mom was comfortably ensconced in her new dementia unit and Dad was temporarily situated at our house and not complaining, I spontaneously took the plunge and purchased a plant with a profusion of gorgeous orange five-star blossoms.  I placed it in my kitchen where it brightened my spirits for many days.  As time went on, it became more difficult to balance out my parents’ needs with some time for myself, and too expensive to keep on buying beautiful houseplants, but I continued to make the effort to take time off for myself.  Doing so made me more able to cope with all the crises that came along.  And you know what?  I continue this practice even now that both my parents have passed away.  It works.

 

Mimi Pockross Biography

Mimi Pockross has been a freelance writer for more than thirty-five years.  She is a graduate of the University of Illinois and Northwestern University.  She has published many articles on the arts, education and family and is the author of two books.  Her latest book is The Takeover: An Unexpected Caregiver’s Story in which she writes about becoming the primary caregiver for her elderly parents.    The mother of two sons and the grandmother of two boys, Mimi lives in Denver and Vail, Colorado with her husband of forty-nine years.  She is also the author of Shopping for a Living: A Memoir on Merging Marriage, Motherhood and Merchandising.

The content of this article and the opinions expressed are solely those of Mimi Pockross and do not necessarily reflect those of AARP or any of its affiliates.