Caregivers’ Re-Treat: The Power of Purpose

Over 1.5 million Virginians currently serve as family caregivers, experiencing emotional stress, fatigue and financial strain as a result of their role. The recent Caregivers’ Re-Treat held in Haymarket provided some with an opportunity to step back from their caregiving duties and take a little time for themselves.

“This is so worth it,” said one attendee. Another just happened to see a notice in a local newspaper and decided “it must have been karma” for her to attend. One attendee, who had been caring for her husband for 19 years, said she “had a heart for caregivers” and attended in support of others.

The event kicked off with a screening of the film “The Hidden Power of Purpose.” Purpose, said Dr. Sanja Gupta in the film, “is when you feel the most alive and engaged in what matters.”

The film profiled four individuals who found profound purpose in their lives. Mark Barden of Newtown, CT, lost his youngest son Daniel in the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2002. At first, he and his wife would collapse in tears on the kitchen floor, ignoring their other children.


Barden eventually realized that events like what happened at Sandy Hook were taking place nearly every day, and he knew he needed to step in to do something.

He became one of the founding members of Sandy Hook Promise, a non-profit organization founded to help educate students and adults to prevent violence in schools, homes and communities. The organization seeks to connect with and reach out to at-risk individuals before the warning signs and has proven success in preventing school shootings and saving lives.

Shirley Acevedo Bountempo grew up in a poor environment in Puerto Rico with her grandparents while her mother lived in New York. She eventually was reunited with her mother and was able to earn a college degree, ultimately making a career in marketing.

When her family moved to Westchester, CT, Bountempo became aware of the disparities of income in her community while working in a food pantry serving Hispanic-Latino individuals, where she met people who reminded her of her grandparents.

This prompted her to found Latino U College Access, or LUCA, which helps families learn how to support their children and provide access to higher education.

“Education transforms everything,” said Buontempo, “the individual, the family, and all that follows.”

“Purpose,” said Whitney Phipps, “is in how you use your blessings and be a blessing to others.”

While attending college, Phipps was invited to sing in an musical group. He was the first gospel singer to appear on “Soul Train,” and he also appeared on “Saturday Night Live.”

As his star began to rise, Phipps realized he could use his gifts to help others realize their full potential. In 1998, Phipps founded the U.S. Dream Academy, tutoring and fostering youth in at-risk communities, especially those with incarcerated parents. Phipps quotes Frederick Douglass by saying, “It is easier to build strong children than it is to mend broken men.”

The Academy’s goal is to break the cycle of incarceration by helping students make choices that change their purpose. “Peace and joy come with purpose,” said Phipps.

A retired nurse in Louisville, KY, Karen Cassidy has become an advocate for individuals who are dying and are alone. She founded Hildegard House, a haven for unhoused people at the end of their lives.

The project has developed into a community, giving the residents a feeling of being with a family after being alone for so many years. Some, said Cassidy, haven’t had a birthday card or birthday cake in decades.

Cassidy and the other Hildegard House volunteers find their work immensely humbling. “We’re just walking them home,” said Cassidy.

Gupta and other scientists who commented in the film note that we all have the potential to live with purpose. When we become purposeful, life changes.

Lily Liu, AARP caregiver advocate and storyteller, shared what she learned as caregiver to her mother. The caregiver journey, said Liu, “is often a long goodbye.”

Liu said she became a better caregiver when she sought out resources and became empowered. She urged attendees to find the resources they need and to follow legislative issues that pertain to caregivers.


The afternoon continued with fun and informative activities, including relaxing yoga stretches from health and fitness coach Dana Wright. Participants then broke into small groups for creative exercises, including coloring on rocks or paper, origami and making aromatherapy sachets.

Next, Dr. Sharmain McCoy discussed the importance of caregivers prioritizing their own health. She provided information on recognizing risk factors and how to address them, such as balanced nutrition, physical activity, mindfulness practices and rest and leisure activities.

The day concluded with AARP volunteer Raj Vatas leading the group in deep breathing exercises.

“I really needed this today,” said one attendee. “We need more of these programs, and I hope you do this again!”