The Lost Art of Civility: Lessons from Lunch with Al Simpson

AARP Wyoming photo

Early in our tenures at AARP, Kate Sarosy and I received an invitation that was both unexpected and, if I’m honest, a little daunting. Former U.S. Senator Alan Simpson and his wife, Ann invited us to their home in Cody for lunch. Knowing Simpson’s reputation for blunt talk and sharp wit, we braced ourselves for a lively conversation - and that’s exactly what we got.

When we arrived, Al was in fine form, greeting us with a firm handshake and an arched eyebrow that suggested he was ready to spar. But instead of a fight, we found something much rarer in today’s political climate: a civil, thoughtful, and even gracious exchange of ideas.

Al Simpson is well-known for his candor. As we sat in his kitchen, the conversation moved from everything to Social Security, Medicare, and rising cost of prescription drugs. Through it all, there was no hostility. Criticism? Absolutely. But it was accompanied by a willingness to listen, engage, and even share a laugh.

Although we often had starkly different ideas, that day I realized something important: disagreement does not have to mean disrespect. Even as he took jabs at the organization we represented, he did so with a twinkle in his eye, and more importantly, he gave us the space to push back.

That lunch in Cody left a lasting impression on us. In an era where political opponents are often treated as enemies, Simpson embodied an older tradition—one where you could argue fiercely, and still break bread together. His career was defined by his willingness to call out hypocrisy on all sides, but he never lost his sense of humor or his ability to find common ground.

We are losing that tradition. Today, social media thrives on outrage. Civility is mistaken for weakness. Too often, we retreat into ideological silos where disagreement is met with personal attacks rather than debate. But Al Simpson reminds us that we can, and should, do better. As he once said, “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.”

Before departing, Al graciously invited us join him in his den, where he allowed us to peruse a truly remarkable collection of artifacts and memorabilia from his time serving Wyoming and our Country.

That day in Cody, we didn’t change his mind, and he certainly didn’t change ours. But we talked, we listened, and we even laughed. And in the end, that might be even more important than winning any argument.

Sam Shumway
State Direction AARP Wyoming

Kate Sarosy
AARP Wyoming State President (2016-2022)