One Grandfather’s Lesson

By Curt Buckley

“First the smoke, then the flame.” That’s perhaps the first lesson I ever remember learning. And I didn’t learn it from my favorite elementary school teacher, or my mom or my dad. Papa, my mother’s father, taught it to me.

“First the smoke, then the flame,” Papa repeated as we both stared intently at the wisps of smoke trickling up through a pile of pine needles one cool fall evening. We had just spent the day raking up all kinds of leaves on the land where my grandparents lived in the piney woods of East Texas. Well, he did most of the raking; I think I was about three at the time, but I’ll never forget that lesson or the countless others he always seemed to impart to me anytime we were together.

Tero Hakala

They say with age comes wisdom, practice makes perfect, and a ton of other adages that relate time with improvement.

May is the month where we pay homage to the people that prove those maxims true; May is Older Americans Month. It seems only appropriate that I convey the importance of our older Americans by using the finest example of wisdom and grace personified that I know: the late Rev. Robert H. Hogg, or as I knew him “Papa.”

You see, Papa wasn’t a source of learning and friendship for just me; he was a teacher and a friend to all. It was rare when we would step into a restaurant or a grocery store and not hear “Brother Bob!” ring out. And this would happen everywhere, not just in Tyler or places he’d pastored before.

He truly lived to serve others and teach them what life had taught him. Even in his last few years when his health was ailing and he was unable to go counsel others, they came to him. Visitors sought him in hospital and hospice rooms. They would call him on the phone. They wrote letters back and forth. He always had time for everyone. He never tired, never stopped, and never turned away anyone, regardless of their religious affiliation.

Papa had an incredible amount to share with anyone and everyone, just like so many of our older Americans. They’ve been through so much, and have so much to offer us, that I find it strange we have to have a month devoted to reminding us of their importance.

We should be thanking them constantly for the wise things they’ve taught us, the many sacrifices they’ve made for us, all the priceless memories they’ve given us. It’s older Americans who made this country what it is today, and it would be a sad day if we ever forgot that.

Imagine the sheer loss of knowledge, culture and understanding that would go along with an absence of appreciation and support for our older citizens. It’s because of volunteer organizations, government programs and the devotion of each and everyone one of us that older Americans are able to maintain their quality of life for as long as they do.

It’s been several long years since Papa passed away, but I was lucky enough to know him for the first 16 years of my life. Some are fortunate enough to have longer with the loved ones who helped shaped who they’ve become; many are not. I shudder to think what kind of person I’d be today without all the lessons tucked away in the memories of a man I can only describe as Papa.

So sometime this month, or any month at all, make sure you share your appreciation for our older Americans, and I promise they’ll give you that much more in return. They’re just better at it; practice makes perfect.